Getting Ready Mentally for your Boudoir Session

K Hammock Photography – Fine Art Boudoir Photographer – Durham, NC

“WHAT, LIKE IT’S HARD?”.

Yes Girl! You booked your shoot, you got all the details down – what you’re going to  wear, the vibe & the location, even what to bring along (like a classic men’s dress shirt, obviously) and then you wait – aaand then start to panic: “What have I done? OMG I am so not comfortable in front of the camera, I have no idea how to pose or be “sexy”.

Well, my love, you’re not the first nor the last to have this exact same moment of panic. I’ve been in your shoes and on the other side (both in front and behind the lens) and these are some of my favorite ways to prepare for your boudoir session mentally.

1. Breath! No, literally. Just thinking about your boudoir session you’re probably holding your breath (you are, aren’t you?!). We hold our breath when we get excited or nervous but breath is one of the quickest keys to unlock feelings of calm within ourselves. Beyond just going, “okay self, breath goddamnit” you can have a quick moment of meditation. Circle breathing is scientifically proven to chill you out. It’s like a superpower for calming your nerves! This technique stimulates the vagus nerve, which triggers your body’s rest and digest mode, putting you in a state of deep relaxation. It’s like hitting the reset button on your stress levels! Let’s do it together – Breathe in for 5 seconds, Hold your breath for 7 seconds, breath out for 8 seconds. Can’t you feel your shoulders relaxing? Good.
2. Put down the social media for a minute. Okay I’m the worst at taking my own advice, but comparison is truly the thief of joy so set a time limit, take a pause, oh and fill that time with something else so you’re not bored – because then you’re right back in the deep end. Things I like to do instead: Take a bath (with or without a glass or two of wine), take a walk, read a real book (kindle is fine too), call or text a friend, write in a journal, have your own dance party in your underwear.
3. Stretch (or for the fancy people, do some yoga)! This is not only great to relax your body but, I’d argue more importantly, it connects you back to your body. Part of the beautiful magic that occurs during a boudoir session is that you’re transported from being a being-of-your-mind into a being-of-your-body when you’re asked to pose and focus on moving your body in space. Stretching or yoga is a way to activate this magic on your own at home. And, just FYI, there’s a lot of funky bendy positions that you might want to try at your boudoir session because they look so damn sexy – so getting a little stretch in before hand makes it so much easier and fun!
4. Write yourself a love note, from the perspective of Love. Hear me out. Remember the book “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert? She started a practice where she wrote herself a letter from Love every day and she points to it as one of the most profound spiritual practices she’s incorporated to her life. It’s pretty straight-forward. Sit down, maybe close your eyes, and then just listen. It feels silly at first, I know, but just wait and listen. Then write what you hear. Love is always so kind and, well, loving. I’ve incorporated this into my life (although I’m the first to admit I’d like to to be a daily thing and it’s currently more like a monthly thing – we’ll get there) but the feeling I got was cathartic, compassionate, profound, and powerful. Read more about this practice on her Letters from Love Substack *Here*
5. Do a practice run – wear the lingerie, put on the hot date-night makeup, and take your sexy haired self out to lunch/drinks/dinner/or just out to Target with whomever floats your boat and uplifts you (girlfriends totally included!) Getting a chance to “get into character” before being on the spot A) is just plain fun and B) get’s you acquainted with the in’s and out’s of getting it all on, how much time it takes to get ready, and what goes where and if it feels good on your body. By the time the session comes you’ll have already gotten familiar with it all and probably have built up a little excitement in the process.

Okay I have a million more suggestions but go get on these first and if you can think of any others, please share!!